Breaking: CPR to Require Prior Authorization


Breaking: CPR Requires Prior Authorization

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“No!” cries ICU physician

In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR) will now require prior authorization.

The prevailing reaction to this news is best captured by Felicia Martin-Lowry, MD, a critical care physician at James Monroe University Hospital in Washington, as she crumbled into a burbling mess of defeat: “No … no … NOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Much like prior authorization requests for medications or other services, health care professionals will only learn about the need for a prior authorization right when CPR is initiated. The insurer will block CPR from continuing and the health care professional will need to go through the lengthy prior authorization process.

“We need to make sure that the health care team tried some other interventions before jumping straight into CPR,” explained a spokesperson for a major national health insurance company, who insisted on anonymity. “Expect us to ask questions like, did you try oxygen? Did you try IV fluids? Did you try an antibiotic? Did you try bicarb?”

The spokesperson went on to say that the checklist of questions will border on somewhere between 700 and 800 questions.

Insurance companies understand that CPR can be a life-saving measure. For that reason, if the insurer finds that all the appropriate steps were taken prior to the patient’s death, then they will be sure to expedite the prior authorization as an urgent request and make the decision on whether or not to approve CPR in no less than 14 days.

“Time is of the essence,” the spokesperson added, before reminding everyone that prior authorizations for CPR will only take place weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

In other news, Gomerblog has learned that insurers will soon require prior authorizations before physical exams and IV placement.

Once again, this post is from GomerBlog, a satirical site about healthcare.

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