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3 Shifts that Expand Influence
The way you treat others is the chief culture building influence in your organization.
Lousy leaders act like individual contributors. Incompetent leaders can’t see the impact of their attitudes, words, and actions.
Newton said, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” The relationships you enjoy, for example, begin with you.
When you focus on weaknesses and ignore strengths, others build protective walls.
Adversarial leaders invite conflict.
Passive leaders create anxiety.
Teams don’t practice accountability until leaders follow-up and follow-through.
When you confront tough issues with kindness, others have tough conversations with greater confidence.
3 shifts that expand influence:
#1 Shift from who is right to what is right.
In one sense, leadership isn’t personal. The issue is the issue. It doesn’t matter who comes up with solutions. The person who screwed up last week might be this week’s genius.
#2. Shift from talking-at to talking-with.
Engagement requires “with.” The more you talk “at” the more you lose “with.” Talking-with requires humility, honesty, curiosity, openness, and forgiveness.
- Humility acknowledges the perspective and strengths of others.
- Honesty explains issues without hidden agendas.
- Curiosity asks, “What do you think?”
- Openness listens and explores. Defensiveness is the end of innovation.
- Forgiveness gives second chances after responsible failure. Honor sincere effort. Don’t punish ignorance.
#3. Shift from right and wrong to better.
Most issues are solved with progress. It’s about next steps, not moral imperatives. Stop judging so much. Start cheering more.
Complex issues have more than one answer. Their answer is better than yours, even if it’s not quite as good, because they own it.
Bonus: Shift from punishing to learning.
Treat responsible failure as a learning opportunity and risk is easier. But treat people like tools and you propagate self-serving attitudes.
Carol Dweck says the #1 quality of a growth mindset is learning from failure.
What shifts expand a leader’s influence?
What behaviors short-circuit a leader’s influence?
7 Examples of Shallow Leadership
Growing in our leadership abilities, including growing in the knowledge of leadership and the relational aspect of leadership, should be a goal for every leader.
Sadly, in my experiencee, many leaders settle for a sort of status quo leadership rather than stretching themselves to continually improve. They settle for mediocre quality of leading, fathering than attempting the hard work of leadership excellence. They remain oblivious to the real health of their leadership and the organizations they lead. They may get by – people may say things are “okay” leaders, but no one would call them exceptional leaders.
I have often referred to this style of leadership as shallow leadership.
Perhaps you’ve seen this before or maybe you’ve been guilty of providing shallow leadership. For seasons, at least, I am not too proud to admit I certainly have.
If you’re still wondering what shallow leadership looks like, let me offer some suggestions.
7 characteristics of shallow leadership:
Thinking your idea will be everyone’s idea. You assume everyone is on the same page with you. You think everyone thinks like you. That’s because you’ve stopped asking questions of your team. You have stopped evaluating everything. You aren’t open to constructive evaluation – of you.
Believing your way is the only way. You’re the leader- you must be right, right? Maybe you’ve had some success and it went to your head just a little. Perhaps you’ve become – or you’ve always been – a little stubborn or head strong. You may even be controlling. You have to make or sign off on every decision. You may never delegate. Those are all signs of shallow leadership, because you’ve likely shut out some of the best ideas within the organization – which reside among the people you are trying to lead.
Assuming you already know the answer. You think you’ve done it long enough to see it all, so you quit learning. You have stopped reading. You never meet with other leaders anymore.
Pretending to care when really you don’t. This is so common among shallow leaders. Shallow leaders have grown cold in their passion. They may speak the vision, but they’re just words on a page or hung on a wall now. They may even go through all the motions. They are still drawing a paycheck, but if the truth be known, they’d rather be anywhere than where they are right now.
Giving the response, which makes you most popular. Shallow leaders like to be liked. They never make the hard decisions, refuse to challenge, avoid conflict, and run from complainers. They ignore the real problems in the organization so things never really get better.
Refusing to make a decision. Often a shallow leader had a setback at some point. Things didn’t go as planned, so they’ve grown scared or overwhelmed and so they refuse to walk by faith. The team won’t move forward because the leader won’t move forward.
Ignoring the warning signs of poor health. This can be poor health in the organization, the team, or in the leader. Things may not be “awesome” anymore. Momentum may be suffering. Shallow leaders look the other way. And, again, it could be the leader. Your soul may be empty. You may be the one unhealthy. Or the team may be unhealthy. Shallow leaders refuse to see it or do anything about it.
We never achieve our best with shallow leadership. And, the first step is always to admit.
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HENRY KOTULA 