You’ve probably felt the battle raging within you. To hold onto your beliefs. To boldly proclaim and do what you feel is right.
The world is crying out around you to do that what they believe to be true. All the while trying to pull you to their side and strip away your integrity.
There’s a battle happening. The battle to maintain our integrity while living in a world that beckons us with the desires of others.
While these posts received quite a bit of positive attention, there were also questions regarding the posts. Partially relating to maintaining your integrity while being told to tweet something one of these great men had said.
Instead of tweeting out quotes from Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King Jr, it was suggested to take the quote, make it your own, and take action. Eventually changing the world because of the action you took.
This blew me away as I never equated asking someone to retweet a quote to losing their integrity. I thought it was a great way to remember these special men and to share some of their great insights.
After this was brought up, I can see how one could possibly begin to lose the fight to maintain integrity. If all we ever do is tweet good words and yet never act on them, what good are we? How are we really improving the world?
Those thoughts brings me to this post and the idea of maintaining our integrity while living a life true to ourselves.
So, what can be done to win the battle that wants us to lose our integrity?
Be true to yourself: First and foremost, be true to yourself. If someone asks you to retweet a quote or a link and you don’t feel it lives up to your standards or goals, don’t do it. Or if someone asks you to do something that goes against what you believe, tell them no and don’t do it.
This brings up memories of my middle school days. In 6th or 7th grade, my friends began to think it was fun to use profane words.
These guys would hang out behind the school whispering and sharing the bad words they’d learned.
One day a couple of these friends approached me and tried to influence me to curse with them. However, even at that age, I knew it would affect my integrity to do so.
When I refused to use the same words they used, they resorted to offering me cold, hard cash to do something against my beliefs. In the end, I knew what was right and what was wrong. I refused to do what was asked.
Don’t cave into the requests of others just because you follow them and they ask. You’ve got to stay true to your direction even if that means going against the request of someone else.
Be honest with others: I’m so glad a couple of readers brought up this issue with the request for tweets. This issue of integrity never crossed my mind when I asked others to retweet the quotes.
Rather, I was hoping it would inspire people. That they would see what great men have done and hope to do the same.
With this honest reply, I was able to see not everyone sees this in the same light. It also helped me realize people react to requests in different ways.
Honesty opens up the eyes of others and allows you to be true to yourself.
Be aware of your choices: Robert Brault once said
“You do not wake up one morning a bad person. It happens by a thousand tiny surrenders of self-respect to self-interest.”
Each choice you make has an effect on your integrity. You either make choices that add to your integrity or choices to surrender and lose the integrity you hold so dear.
Learn to examine the choices laid before you. Decide whether or not they add to your integrity. Make the choices that will make you a person of integrity.
Integrity can be an easy thing to lose. It can also be an easy thing to maintain when we’re aware of the actions we can take to keep it.
I know you want to live a life of integrity. I encourage you to do so.
Remember, be true to yourself, be honest with others, and know the choices you make affect your integrity.
Question: How do you maintain your integrity?
But because someone says truth is relative, does it make it so? No, and you know this.
Look at the grass outside of your office window. What color is it? There’s typically only two answers to this question:
The grass is green.
The grass is brown.
One is a sign of healthy grass. The other is a sign of dead grass. Yet there’s typically only two colors of grass.
Now, if you looked out your window and saw a lawn full of green grass and someone told you the grass was pink, what would you do? You’d probably laugh. I know I would.
You wouldn’t coddle the person and tell them they’re right. After laughing, you’d probably correct them. You’d tell them: Sam, the grass isn’t pink. The grass is green.
The truth is the grass is green. There’s no two ways about it.
You cannot change the fact that the grass in front of you is green. It is what it is. And grass being the color green is the truth.
You can try to twist the truth of the grass’ color as much as you would like. Your twisting of the colors wouldn’t change the truth.
But how often do we try to twist the truth when it comes to our businesses, organizations, or relationships? We try to twist the truth to what suits our desires, needs, or wants.
And still, no twisting of those truths makes our lies in business any less wrong.
There’s a reason truth matters. Truth is a guiding compass for what is right and what is wrong. You can look at the truth and know whether or not what you’re doing is right.
Truth allows you to know true north. It allows you to get to the destination you’re heading. And it helps you accomplish this with integrity.
Be careful of twisting truths to fit your narrative. It’s a dangerous path to go down.
The more you twist the truth, the more you’ll be willing to do the next wrong thing. Then the next. And then another…
But if you stay on the straight and narrow… If you’re willing to stand for truth… If you’re willing to say truth matters…
You’ll have an unshakeable character. You’ll earn the respect of others. And you’ll know you did the right thing.
I hope you’re not living in a state of relative truth. I hope and pray you’re living a life of truth.
The way you treat others is the chief culture building influence in your organization.
Lousy leaders act like individual contributors. Incompetent leaders can’t see the impact of their attitudes, words, and actions.
Newton said, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” The relationships you enjoy, for example, begin with you.
When you focus on weaknesses and ignore strengths, others build protective walls.
Adversarial leaders invite conflict.
Passive leaders create anxiety.
Teams don’t practice accountability until leaders follow-up and follow-through.
When you confront tough issues with kindness, others have tough conversations with greater confidence.
#1 Shift from who is right to what is right.
In one sense, leadership isn’t personal. The issue is the issue. It doesn’t matter who comes up with solutions. The person who screwed up last week might be this week’s genius.
#2. Shift from talking-at to talking-with.
Engagement requires “with.” The more you talk “at” the more you lose “with.” Talking-with requires humility, honesty, curiosity, openness, and forgiveness.
#3. Shift from right and wrong to better.
Most issues are solved with progress. It’s about next steps, not moral imperatives. Stop judging so much. Start cheering more.
Complex issues have more than one answer. Their answer is better than yours, even if it’s not quite as good, because they own it.
Bonus: Shift from punishing to learning.
Treat responsible failure as a learning opportunity and risk is easier. But treat people like tools and you propagate self-serving attitudes.
Carol Dweck says the #1 quality of a growth mindset is learning from failure.
What shifts expand a leader’s influence?
What behaviors short-circuit a leader’s influence?