Cartoon – Alibi for Ignorance
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THREE C’S FOR LISTENING LIKE A LEADER
THREE C’S FOR LISTENING LIKE A LEADER
Listening is a vast ocean surrounded by empty beaches.
I’ve been paying attention to listening, both my own and others. You’re more likely to meet a red-crested tree rat* than to meet someone who actually listens.
5 reasons shallow listening is normal:
- Desire. Listening is such a bother.
- Ignorance. You might listen if you knew how.
- Time. Hurry up. The clock’s ticking.
- Energy. You don’t have energy to listen deeply.
- Discipline. On a list of “hard things to do,” listening is near the top.
Set the stage for deep listening:
Unfocused conversations feel like chasing chickens.
Establish conversational direction or you’ll end up exhausted and disappointed.
- What’s on your agenda today?
- What good thing might come from our conversation?
- What would you like to accomplish during this conversation?
- What’s important for you to bring up during this conversation? What’s important to you about that?
Three C’s for listening like a leader:
#1. Character.
#2. Calmness.
Breathe deeply.
Although listening takes energy, it requires a calm spirit.
Inner agitation blocks listening.
#3. Compartmentalization.
Set a fence around your listening space. You don’t have anything else to do except attend to the person speaking.
Explain time limits before you begin. Because listening requires rigor, you might need to set short-time limits.
After explaining limits, attend fully.
The character of a listening leader:
#1. Courage.
Churchill put it this way, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
#2. Compassion.
“Compassion is the quality of having positive intentions for others. … It’s the ability to understand others and use that as a catalyst for supportive action.”**
#3. Confidence.
Insecurity seems to loosen tongues and close ears.
#4. Openness.
A closed mind lies behind closed ears.
Poor listening is a character issue.
What’s one thing you could do that would make you a better listener?
42 Inspiring Quotes That Demonstrate the Importance of Emotional Intelligence
EQ is often cited as the difference between winners and losers. Use these quotes to up your game.
As far as I know, my MBA program didn’t teach any classes in emotional intelligence. While I got a solid education, I can’t help but think that I might have been served better by taking a course or two in EQ. After all, study after study has shown that emotional intelligence is the different between a successful CEO and an also-ran.
Here are some of the best quotes to inspire you to become a more emotionally intelligent leader:
- The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with them from the heart.
-Rasheed Ogunlaru - Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. -Jack Welch
- In my 35 years in business, I have always trusted my emotions. I have always believed that by touching emotion you get the best people to work with you, the best clients to inspire you, the best partners and most devoted customers.
-Kevin Roberts - When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion. -Dale Carnegie
- When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us, so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves. -Jess C. Scott
- No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.
-Theodore Roosevelt - Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business. -Norman Vincent Peale
- When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air. -Stephen R. Covey
- Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution. -Kahlil Gibran
- Remember that failure is an event, not a person. -Zig Ziglar
- Unleash in the right time and place before you explode at the wrong time and place. -Oli Anderson
- Emotional intelligent people use self-awareness to their advantage to assess a situation, get perspective, listen without judgment, process, and hold back from reacting head on. At times, it means the decision to sit on your decision. By thinking over your situation rationally, without drama, you’ll eventually arrive at other, more sane conclusions. –Marcel Schwantes
- It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently. -Fyodor Dostoyevsky
- People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. –Travis Bradberry
- The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions. -John Hancock
- Any person capable of angering you becomes your master. -Epictetus
- Every time we allow someone to move us with anger, we teach them to be angry. -Barry Neil Kaufman
- Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values. -Joshua L. Liebman
- Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. -Leo Buscaglia
- Emotions can get in the way or get you on the way. -Mavis Mazhura
- Experience is not what happens to you–it’s how you interpret what happens to you. -Aldous Huxley
- Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose. -Bill Gates
- Don’t let the baggage from your past–heavy with fear, guilt, and anger–slow you down. -Maddy Malhotra
- Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. -Charles J. Sykes
- It isn’t stress that makes us fall–it’s how we respond to stressful events.
-Wayde Goodall - Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame. -Benjamin Franklin
- Pausing helps you refrain from making a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion. –Justin Bariso
- No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore it. -Jack Welch
- Quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand … prejudice, fear, and ignorance walk hand in hand. -Peart
- Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs. -Charlotte Brontë
- The essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to action while reason leads to conclusions. -Donald Calne
- Change happens in the boiler room of our emotions–so find out how to light their fires. -Jeff Dewar
- If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. -Daniel Goleman
- Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got. -Janis Joplin
- Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one’s awareness of one’s ignorance.
-Anthony de Mello - The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
-Carl R. Rogers - I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. -Socrates
- If we can’t laugh at ourselves, do we have the right to laugh at others? -C.H. Hamel
- We are at our most powerful the moment we no longer need to be powerful. -Eric Micha’el Leventhal
- When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. -Ernest Hemingway
- Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone … just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had. -F. Scott Fitzgerald
- Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. -C.G. Jung
What’s your favorite quote about emotional intelligence that needs to be added to this list? What inspires you to develop your EQ further on an ongoing basis?
As a first step to sensible gun policy, lift congressional brakes on gun-violence research and data-sharing: editorial
Knowledge is power. Yet Congress has limited its own access to facts vital to understanding the nation’s gun violence pandemic. That’s because, since 1996, Congress has effectively prevented the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention from continuing public health research into the consequences of gun violence.
At the same time, while Congress forever proclaims its support of the men and women in blue, lawmakers have fettered law enforcement around the country in understanding gun-crime trends by restricting how the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives can share its gun-trace data.
Assuming Ohio’s congressional delegation doesn’t confuse talk with action, Ohio’s two senators and 16 U.S. House members — three of whom represent portions of Cuyahoga County, thanks to gerrymandering — should work together to eliminate these grotesque and paradoxical restrictions.
They blind congressional decision-making about gun policy – and about the extent and results of illegal gun trafficking.
The United States is awash in weapons, with more guns per 100 residents (89) than any other nation, reports CNN, citing the Swiss-based Small Arms Survey. The next closest is war-torn Yemen, with 55 guns per 100 inhabitants.
With crime guns relatively easy and cheap to obtain, cities like Cleveland are seeing steadily rising rates of gun violence. In Cuyahoga County, gun deaths as a percentage of overall homicides rose more than 14 percent in the last 25 years, according to data from the county medical examiner’s office.
Why would Congress tie the hands of police and policymakers to address this scourge? It makes no sense.
Even the late sponsor of the congressional amendment that precipitated the prohibition on CDC gun research, then-Rep. Jay W. Dickey Jr., an Arkansas Republican, later regretted it publicly.
“I wish we had started the proper research and kept it going all this time,” Dickey, who died last year, told the Huffington Post in 2015, in a story updated last year. “I have regrets.”
Dickey said such gun violence research might have developed safety measures or mechanisms for guns, as highway safety research has made roads safer: “If we had somehow gotten the research going, we could have somehow found a solution to the gun violence without there being any restrictions on the Second Amendment,” he said. “We could have used that all these years to develop the equivalent of that little small [highway barrier] fence.”
It’s not too late to restart this important research effort.
After accomplishing that, Ohio’s delegation should next work to repeal the Tiahrt amendment, named for then-Rep. Todd Tiahrt, a Kansas Republican. As modified, the 2003 amendment has added to the budget a nondisclosure requirement for ATF’s gun-trace efforts.
ATF says this doesn’t bar it from sharing gun-trace data with a law enforcement agency engaged in a “bona fide” criminal investigation, or from doing jurisdictional-specific gun trend investigations, but the amendment limits broadly how ATF can share its gun-trace data. That in turn creates critical knowledge barriers on crime-gun trends for officials in Ohio and every other state.
Repealing the Dickey and Tiahrt amendments wouldn’t crimp the rights of law-abiding gun owners. Instead, unlocking those congressional handcuffs would empower Congress by providing accurate information on which to fashion fair and practical legislation.
That assumes, of course, good faith rather than bombast on the part of Congress and the men and women Ohio sends to the U.S. House and Senate.
Twelve of Ohio’s 16 U.S. representatives, plus Sen. Rob Portman, of suburban Cincinnati, are Republicans, the congressional majority party.
That gives them leverage on eliminating these gun-ignorance amendments. They need to use that leverage. If they don’t, Ohio voters may remind them sooner rather than later that they want their lawmakers armed — with knowledge, not ignorance.
HENRY KOTULA 