When looking at hospital reviews on Yelp, researchers found the word most associated with negative reviews, including those with one-star ratings, was “told,” a study published in the Journal of General Internal Medicine found.
The researchers, from Philadelphia-based Penn Medicine, analyzed 51,376 reviews for 1,566 U.S. hospitals and found the word “told” appeared in 20 percent of the posts (9,578 in total). Reviews that included the word “told” averaged 1.78 stars out of five stars.
The one-star reviews the researchers saw that contained “told” highlighted frustrations about information that was ostensibly shared (“They never told me the cost of any of the procedures”), anger at a lack of listening (“I told her I did not want to discuss it any more but she persisted to badger me”) and feelings of futility (“Some examined me and told me there was nothing they could do for me”).
“Oftentimes, words such as ‘told’ hint at a breakdown in communication,” Anish Agarwal, MD, a National Clinician Scholars fellow and emergency medicine physician at Penn Medicine, said in a news release. “I suspect that patients are not feeling listened to or heard and this could be driving poor experiences and low reviews.”
For the positive hospital reviews, the word “friendly” was found in about 11 percent of them (5,594 in all). Along with the word “great,” “friendly” correlated the most with five-star reviews. In these reviews, patients often focused on hospital staff’s demeanor and attentiveness (“The entire staff was very friendly and made sure we were taken care of”).
“Patients value communication highly in their overall experience when they’re in the hospital,” Dr. Agarwal said. “As healthcare transitions to being more patient-centered, I think hospitals and providers need to continue to work on how we improve communication, how we listen and how we approach all patient interactions.”
3 Ways to Identify Arrogant Leaders
I recently heard a great speaker in Atlanta named Clay Scroggins (Author, How to Lead When You’re Not in Charge). He made this point:
“Arrogant people don’t ask questions.”
I had to think about that. Test it against my experience. See if it was an exaggeration – or could it be so?
He went on to say….”they not only don’t ask you questions, they do not ask themselves questions either.”
Hmmm. Thinking over all the arrogant people I’ve ever met. List very long. May take a while to conclude.
(a minute passes)
Dang. I think it’s true!!!
Here are three easy ways to find out if a leader is arrogant…
THE TELL-ASK RATIO:
Count the number of things the leader came to TELL you, compared to the number of open-ended questions they ASKED you. Anything above a 3:1 ratio may indicate a problem (just a hunch).
A surrogate for this test would be – how long did they talk relative to how long they listened. Try this in your next project meeting with your supervisor.
THE DON’T ASK/DON’T KNOW SCAM:
If you think you are working for someone arrogant, take note of how many times they declare things to the organization that they do not actually know to be true.
THE KNOW ME/KNOW THEE TEST:
Ask the leader to share one of their most difficult experiences and what they learned from it. If they can’t think of one, well, you know what that means.
Another version of this test? Ask them to name your three children at the next company picnic. If they smile, nervous laugh, and walk away…
3 WAYS TO PRACTICE HUMILITY:
That’s humility. And it drives performance.
Serve well.
What are some signs that a leader is arrogant?
How might leaders practice humility?
Three C’s for Listening Like a Leader
Listening is a vast ocean surrounded by empty beaches.
I’ve been paying attention to listening, both my own and others. You’re more likely to meet a red-crested tree rat* than to meet someone who actually listens.
5 reasons shallow listening is normal:
Set the stage for deep listening:
Unfocused conversations feel like chasing chickens.
Establish conversational direction or you’ll end up exhausted and disappointed.
Three C’s for listening like a leader:
#1. Character.
#2. Calmness.
Breathe deeply.
Although listening takes energy, it requires a calm spirit.
Inner agitation blocks listening.
#3. Compartmentalization.
Set a fence around your listening space. You don’t have anything else to do except attend to the person speaking.
Explain time limits before you begin. Because listening requires rigor, you might need to set short-time limits.
After explaining limits, attend fully.
The character of a listening leader:
#1. Courage.
Churchill put it this way, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
#2. Compassion.
“Compassion is the quality of having positive intentions for others. … It’s the ability to understand others and use that as a catalyst for supportive action.”**
#3. Confidence.
Insecurity seems to loosen tongues and close ears.
#4. Openness.
A closed mind lies behind closed ears.
Poor listening is a character issue.
What’s one thing you could do that would make you a better listener?
EQ is often cited as the difference between winners and losers. Use these quotes to up your game.
As far as I know, my MBA program didn’t teach any classes in emotional intelligence. While I got a solid education, I can’t help but think that I might have been served better by taking a course or two in EQ. After all, study after study has shown that emotional intelligence is the different between a successful CEO and an also-ran.
Here are some of the best quotes to inspire you to become a more emotionally intelligent leader:
What’s your favorite quote about emotional intelligence that needs to be added to this list? What inspires you to develop your EQ further on an ongoing basis?
The Gifts of Leadership: How to Give Advice That People Respect
People don’t want advice. They want the pain to go away. They want to keep doing the same thing but get different results.
The world is full of answer-givers, but who can find a skillful advisor?
The surprising truth about giving advice is it’s more about listening than talking.
What kind of advisor are you?
Don’t fall in love with giving advice.
Give advice from a position of humility. It’s heady to have someone seek your advice. Keep your feet on the ground.
Avoid these seven advice-givers.
#1. Needy advisors rush to answers. Good advice begins by exploring and defining problems. People who are eager to tell people what to do, don’t know the real problem.
Explore roots, not just fruits. There are symptoms to problems and there are root causes.
#2. Hard-headed advisors make up their minds quickly and defend their position.
#3. Inept advisors neglect values and strengths. Advice needs to fit the advisee. Generic advice should be presented as guiding principles that anyone might use.
#4. Bungling advisors think it’s all about advice and forget about energy. Good advice fits the situation AND lights people up.
#5. Incompetent advisors always have an answer. Instead say, “I don’t know, but lets figure it out.”
#6. Self-centered advisors talk about themselves more than asking about others.
#7. Confused advisors have it all together. They don’t have their own issues, challenges, and problems. Problem free advisors are blind, ignorant, arrogant, or all three.
Anyone who has it all together, doesn’t.
How might you turn the above warnings into suggestions for giving advice that people respect?
What are the qualities of skillful advisors?
HENRY KOTULA 