THE LISTENING SANDWICH AND INSPIRING OTHERS

The Listening Sandwich and Inspiring Others

Banter provides relational energy but don’t focus on yourself.

People enjoy hearing leaders talk about themselves as long as they don’t talk about themselves all the time.

The listening sandwich:

  1. Show interest in others.
  2. Share a bit about yourself (Banter).
  3. Show interest in others again.

Illustration:

A leader told me his word for 2018 is “Care”. We practice the “One Word” principle described in the book of the same name.

Instead of asking him a series of questions, I shared a bit of myself, “My word for 2018 is “Book”. For a moment, the conversation turned toward me.

When banter turns ugly:

Banter turns ugly when it becomes a monologue about yourself.

Inspiring leaders make conversations about others. Yes, share a bit of yourself. Let people know what you think. But a series of machine-gun-questions makes people wonder what you’re after.

Banter lowers barriers.

From banter to curiosity and inspiration:

Banter – sharing a bit of yourself – sets people at ease.

I have questions about “Care” for my friend. The fact that he knows my “word” establishes a connection point as long as we discuss BOTH words.

I want to inspire my friend as he “cares” in 2018. The questions I have for him don’t feel like an inquisition because he knows my word.

Curiosity strengthens connection, nurtures humility, and inspires others.

Curiosity:

  1. You’re already a caring leader. How did you happen to choose “Care” as your word for 2018?
  2. What’s important about caring?
  3. How will you take your Care-game to the next level?
  4. How’s your care-game going?

Because he knows my word, curiosity about his word is vulnerability for me.

How might leaders employ the listening sandwich?

When is sharing about yourself out of line for leaders? Too much?

 

Nursing named most trusted profession for 16th consecutive year

https://www.beckershospitalreview.com/human-capital-and-risk/nursing-named-most-trusted-profession-for-16th-consecutive-year.html

Image result for 16 straight years most trusted profession

Nurses are the most trusted professionals in the United States, according to the 2017 edition of Gallup’s annual poll. The poll marks the 16th consecutive year nursing topped the list as the most honest and ethical profession.

For the 2017 poll, Gallup asked a random sample of 1,049 U.S. adults to rate honesty and ethical standards for 22 occupations. The respondents selected ratings of very high/high, very low/low or average.

Healthcare providers took three spots in the top five most trusted professions, with a high percentage of respondents rating their honesty and ethical standards as very high or high. They are listed below along with their rank:

  • Nurses (1) — 82 percent rated honesty and ethical standards very high or high
  • Medical doctors (4) — 65 percent
  • Pharmacists (5) — 62 percent

Since Gallup first included nurses in the survey in 1999, respondents have ranked the frontline providers as the most trusted profession in all but one year. In 2001, firefighters topped the list after Gallup included the profession in the poll in the wake of 9/11.

“Nurses provide much more than bedside care,” said Pamela Cipriano, PhD, RN, president of the American Nurses Association, in an emailed release. “We advocate for patients, deliver primary care, meet the complex needs of patients with chronic conditions, volunteer for disaster relief efforts, and are a trusted voice in boardrooms across the country.”

 

THE GIFTS OF LEADERSHIP: HOW TO GIVE ADVICE THAT PEOPLE RESPECT

The Gifts of Leadership: How to Give Advice That People Respect

the surprising truth about giving advice

People don’t want advice. They want the pain to go away. They want to keep doing the same thing but get different results.

The world is full of answer-givers, but who can find a skillful advisor?

The surprising truth about giving advice is it’s more about listening than talking.

What kind of advisor are you?

  1. Expert. You know something others need to know. Perhaps you have relevant technical knowledge.
  2. Experienced. You’ve been there and done that. You’ve failed and learned.
  3. Skilled. You have relevant abilities?
    • Problem-solving.
    • Conflict-resolution.
    • Option-generating.
    • Question-asking.
  4. Outsider. You see things differently. Perhaps you’re older or younger, married or single, on the front-line or in management, or from a different culture.

Warnings:

Don’t fall in love with giving advice.

Give advice from a position of humility. It’s heady to have someone seek your advice. Keep your feet on the ground.

Avoid these seven advice-givers.

#1. Needy advisors rush to answers. Good advice begins by exploring and defining problems. People who are eager to tell people what to do, don’t know the real problem.

Explore roots, not just fruits. There are symptoms to problems and there are root causes.

#2. Hard-headed advisors make up their minds quickly and defend their position.

#3. Inept advisors neglect values and strengths. Advice needs to fit the advisee. Generic advice should be presented as guiding principles that anyone might use.

#4. Bungling advisors think it’s all about advice and forget about energy. Good advice fits the situation AND lights people up.

#5. Incompetent advisors always have an answer. Instead say, “I don’t know, but lets figure it out.”

#6. Self-centered advisors talk about themselves more than asking about others.

#7. Confused advisors have it all together. They don’t have their own issues, challenges, and problems. Problem free advisors are blind, ignorant, arrogant, or all three.

Anyone who has it all together, doesn’t.

How might you turn the above warnings into suggestions for giving advice that people respect?

What are the qualities of skillful advisors?

 

 

THE GIFTS OF LEADERSHIP: WHAT YOU REALLY DO FOR OTHERS

The Gifts of Leadership: What You Really Do For Others

This morning, I’m thinking about gifts that touch us deeply and change us profoundly. I’m not thinking about a bottle of wine or tickets to a play.

The first gift leaders give is belief.

Doubt:

Doubt is a virtue.

You doubt rosy reports and projections. You doubt everyone who says, “Don’t worry.” You’re skeptical of unproven systems and untested people. Leaders believe cautiously.

If you’re smart, you doubt yourself a little. But a little doubt, like hot sauce, goes a long way.

Those who change us believe in us.

Belief:

Big sticks make bosses. But the tool of influence is belief.

The more you believe in someone, the more influence you have with them. The less you believe in someone, the more resistance they feel toward you.

Someone believed in you. Be that person for someone else.

Failure and belief:

Belief means most when it’s difficult to give.

Nothing says I believe in you like a second chance.

Believe when someone fails responsibly. (Responsible failure happens when someone gives their best and fails.)

A third or fourth chance – after the same failure – says you’re irresponsible. You should have changed something.

The gift of belief:

Leaders change us when they believe in us.

  1. Rely on someone today. Give them a small project with a short timeline if they’re untested. Belief says, “I’m counting on you.”
  2. Demonstrate confidence today. Everyone on your team knows more about something than you. Ask a question. Go with their answer.
  3. Respect someone today. Don’t judge them by who you are. See theirstrengths. A statement like, “You’re really good at taking responsibility,” says, “I believe in you.”

If people believe in you, teach them to believe in themselves.

What are some gifts leaders give others?

How might leaders demonstrate belief in others today?

 

 

Answer the phone 

https://interimcfo.wordpress.com/2017/12/17/answer-the-phone-%EF%BB%BF/

Abstract:  This article explores how doing something as simple as disrespecting people by not returning phone calls can be career limiting.

One of the lectures I vividly remember was when the boss called the group together to absolutely shellack all of us because one of us had a very bad habit of not returning phone calls.  During the course of the lecture, we were told to ALWAYS return EVERY phone call even if it is to tell the caller to never call again.  The fact that one of us was not returning calls was described as an embarrassment for all of us.  We were told that the next time such a complaint was received, there would be no more second chances.  The person that galvanized my thinking on this topic has passed away but the influence of his powerful speech continues to resonate into the future and guide my thinking and actions.

Why would someone refuse or fail to return phone calls?  All of us are very busy and as those of us who are decision makers know, a lot of the calls we receive are cold, unsolicited sales pitches.  My assistants in several venues have been continually amused by all of my ‘long lost friends’ that drive everyone crazy with unsolicited calls that usually lead to some kind of sales pitch.  Most of these people I have never heard of.  Another reason that calls are not returned is that we are all extremely busy.  It is easy to procrastinate about returning a call until you have forgotten about it.  The next thing you know, you have disrespected someone.

I am used to not having my phone calls returned.  It is an all too common phenomena that those of us who put any effort into networking are well familiar with.  I will usually call someone three or four times and get no response before I black list them.  I recently had a very frustrating experience.  You know, the one where the administrative assistant answers the phone and says, “let me see if he’s in” only to return to the phone a few seconds later to tell me that she needs to take a message.  The probability that an Administrative Assistant will not actually know whether their principal is in or not is infatesimally small.  The last time this occurred, I told the assistant that the person I had called could use any of the last three messages I had left for him.  I am still waiting for one of those calls to be returned or better, an opportunity to return the disrespect I have been subjected to by this idiot; maybe in the form of a blind reference.  By the way what kind of narcissist would put their assistant into the position of having to lie for them in the first place but I digress.

Not only is this behavior disrespectful and unprofessional, it can be career limiting.  The very people that refuse to return your calls are frequently among your callers when they need something from you.  I have had several people that refused to accept my calls call me when they were referred to me during a career transition or job search.  I return their calls and enjoy listening to their lame excuses about how embarrassed they are that they haven’t kept up.  I indulge them while I make their call as short as possible.   What kind of arrogance and narcism is at the root of a person that would not demonstrate a whit of professional courtesy to me when they do not need me then reach out to me asking for help when they think that I might be able to do something for them?  Obviously, these morons have never heard of the golden rule.  You know, the one that admoishes us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us.

One of the many problems that can arise from this behavior is a blind reference.  Occasionally, I will receive an inquiry from someone that wants to know if I know someone.  All too frequently, the target is being considered for some type of public relations or networking opportunity like opening doors.   I ask the person wanting a reference how successful they think that someone that did not return calls would be representing their firm?

On this note, have you received requests from people that refused to return your calls or engage with you come around later and ask you to meet with them so they can try to sell you something you did not ask for and  not need?   The arrogance of this behavior is impressive to say the least.  I know people that will agree to these meetings.  They will let the idiot that disrespected them spend time and expense traveling only to limit their presentation to one hour or less.  At the end of these meetings the hapless moron is bid adieu and sent off with no intention of ever spending a cent with them or the company they now represent.

What goes around comes around.

The point of this is that when you fail or refuse to return phone calls, in my opinion you are intentionally damaging yourself.  There is an old one liner that says, “Don’t burn any more bridges that you have to because one day, you might have to re-cross one of them.”  When you fail or refuse to return phone calls, you are proactively burning bridges.  The irony of not retuning calls is that the behavior is a boomerang.  The disrespect will come back and wack you.  It is a whole lot easier to be arrogant toward those that call you when you have a gig that is when you do not have a gig.  An acquaintance that had ignored me for years finally got his ass fired.  A few months later, I got the call.  He was desparate for a job and in his opinion I held a key to him getting his next gig.  I told him that I would see what I could do and that was the last time we talked.  He never even bothered to follow up with me to see what if anything had transpired.  That conversation occured several years ago and as far as I know, his run in the helathcare industry is over.

RETURN YOUR CALLS.  FOLLOW THE GOLDEN RULE.  NEVER FORGET, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.

A lot of people have the memories of race car drivers.  They NEVER forget.

Please feel free to contact me to discuss any questions or observations you might have about these blogs or interim executive services in general. As the only practicing Interim Executive that has done a dissertation on Interim Executive Services in healthcare in the US, I might have an idea or two that might be valuable to you. I can also help with career transitions or career planning.

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